Me and Alondra at the park

I talked to Chelsea on the phone the other day. The first time I had talked to her since leaving Mission Year. We were talking about going home and how to relate to people and tell people about Mission Year well... And through the conversation I realized some things about myself. It was a classic Chelsea move, understanding through external processing or whatever.

My thinking was changed by MY. Of course. What I find funny and what I find offensive was changed.

I think since being home I have stopped commenting on things, like racism, sexism, poverty, inequality, whatever. Like I have been more content to just let things people say go by without making a fuss. Like I don't want to appear to be cynical or a kill joy, or I just don't want to fight, or cry. I make a lot of comments inwardly, about injustice and why such and such is wrong, but not out loud. I don't want to confront someone who doesn't even really care. Who just said something flippantly and doesn't want to have a half hour discussion about justice and love.

I think it's almost like I don't care. Like I am disconnected from everyone. Like I don't want to waste my energy talking to someone who won't understand why I am upset about something they have said. But I also don't want to always seem so serious and literal and uptight.

I just explained that in a really long, confusing way.

I guess it's just hard to adjust to not being surrounded by my team, people who spent a year struggling with the same things I did (and sometimes struggling with me, haha), people who would understand and care. And act self righteous with me ;)

I think it will take time.

Rugby

Well, I have been wanting to play a sport when I am back at school. I think this was originally inspired by watching Whip It last fall... maybe.

And my current sport of choice is rugby! I have been researching it and watching videos and looking up teams in the seattle area. Very exciting.

I think I might die if I play it, but it looks fun.

Seattle U has a rec rugby team too, so I will def be looking into that .

Home again

Well, today I have been back in the Seattle area for exactly a week. Mission Year already feels like it was a really long time ago. It's weird. Everything here is just how I left it, pretty much. I can feel that there are some things about me that are different, but it is very easy to fit right back in and feel like last year didn't even happen.

But only in some ways.

Right now I am kinda in between. Waiting to start school and get into a "real life". A routine and permanency that isn't really here now.

But that is good. I am resting. My body and mind and everything.

Mission Year kinda sucks the energy.

I miss the trailer park. And the kids. And my team. And almost everything about Mission Year. Except the cockroaches. If I ever get to a point where I miss those I will know that I have gone crazy!

Life is good. Weird but good.